Picking Up the Pieces and Starting Over

It’s a little crazy how many things can change in the span of just a few months. The last time I posted, it was the beginning of January and I had almost all of 2015 ahead of me.

Now it’s June and half of the year is already in the past.  I look back on the past five months and honestly have no idea how I survived each day and managed to keep going. Almost 24 hours after I published the launch post on January 10th, my amazing mother lost her two-year battle with breast cancer and passed away with our extended family by her side.

422144_367687743260431_1053994755_n

My amazing and beautiful mother. I miss her so much.

The next two weeks could only be described as an emotional roller-coaster, leaving me numb and broken inside. My sisters and I were fortunate to have a great support system though, from my amazing aunts/uncles/cousins to all of my fantastic friends who were all there for me when I needed them, overwhelming me with texts and phone calls just checking in and sending me all their love.

Even with all the support I was getting, I still felt lost and alone – as if I were treading in the open ocean by myself, just trying to keep my head above the water and without any land in sight. Returning to work after two weeks off was such a blessing, because my work friends are like a second family to me and things began to feel like they were getting back to normal…or as close to normal as I could get. I was at my most vulnerable, which in hindsight is easier to acknowledge now than at that moment.

I was so desperate to find something – or someone – to help me heal and to stop the pain, that I went against my better judgement and got involved with someone I probably shouldn’t have. Most of my friends warned me not to, while the rest supported me because they knew how much I needed the distraction. I caught feelings really fast, which is never a good sign for me, and ventured naively into this not-a-relationship relationship. Needless to say, I ended up heartbroken after just two months, when I discovered that I’d been played and that it was all just a game.

So here I am, exactly five months after my mom’s passing, picking up the pieces of my battered heart once again and starting over. They say time heals all wounds, but in all reality, all time does is help us become immune to the pain that’s still lingering around. Those scars, burns and deep cuts never truly disappear…we just become accustomed to seeing them there, reminding us of everything that we’ve been put through and have lived to tell the tale. Time doesn’t heal the wounds our heart endures, it just makes us stronger and gives us a chance to push past them, hopefully leading us on to something even more worthwhile.

10563057_10203991004192687_5075921265388278273_n

Pink has become one of my favorite colors over the past five months. It was my mom’s favorite color too.

As much as I’d like to regret getting involved with that person, I think it was exactly what I needed at the time. And if anything, there was a few good things that came out of that hot mess of a not-relationship. Now, I’m more motivated than I’ve ever been before to continue to work on myself, just to show that jerk what kind of woman he missed out on. I’m recommitting to my diet and focused on achieving all of my fitness goals this year, which includes hopefully running a 5k before 2015 is over.

So stick around and join me on this journey of starting over, working on myself, healing my heart and keeping my mother’s memory alive through our mutual love of fashion and beauty. Feel free to shoot me a note through my contact page if there’s something specific you want to read about on the blog or even if it’s just to say hi. You can also connect with me through Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest through my links at the top of the page (although Facebook is still a work in progress!).

Here’s to moving forward and making the most of 2015, no matter what life throws your way.

 

 

LEAVE A COMMENT